I went around to the back of the house, picked up a lawn chair and moved it away from the house. I wanted to enjoy the late spring/early summer cool air. I have always enjoyed star gazing. I took astronomy in jr. high, but don’t remember much. I can find the Big Dipper and that’s where it stops as far as the night sky goes.
While gazing at the stars I thought maybe I thought maybe I’d take an introspective look at my current circumstances. We both know that if someone had told me at Christmas that I was going to be engaged by May, I would have laughed out loud, pointed and said to the soul making this revelation, “YOU, are certifiably nuts!”
Up to this point in my life I have preferred to keep life predictable. Carly is not going to let me live a predictable life. I’m okay with that. She has been good for me and I suppose has brought me out of a shell, my shell.
I am amazed at how much love I feel for this woman that I barely know. She is many things that I am not. Though I know she does, she acts as if she doesn’t have a care in the world. She loves to read. We have been on a couple of dates where she has taken me to the park to read. During school I hardly ever read. While she was reading I pretended to read. I read enough to answer a question or two. Sitting down to read a book seems so foreign to me, but she loves to do it. We both love ice cream. That’s a good thing. It hasn’t happened very often, but I like the idea of being in the same room with her and not have to talk. There have been a couple of nights when I have called and told her that I don’t really need talk, I just need her on the other end of the line.
Sorry for the mushy stuff, but I needed to admit it openly.
I do know that I need to get back into school and make a plan for my life. We are heading that direction. I have been greatly blessed; there is no doubt about that.
I am nervous about going to visit my Mom next week. Actually, I may be more nervous about talking to brothers and sister.
The last few days have been wonderful. Carly’s family has been very accepting of me. They feel genuine in their acceptance of me. I had forgotten how much I liked open space. I am starting to feel clusterphobic just think about going back to the city. The quicker we get out of the there the better.
“Mind if I join you, Brian?”
“Oh, what?”
“Do you mind if I join you? You look lost in a world that seems like a nice place to be.”
“Sorry. Hi Duane. I’m just taking some time to think about all that has happened over the last few weeks.”
“I imagine it has caught you by surprise. Would you care to share any of your thoughts?”
“I was thinking how much I have been blessed. She is bringing me out of shell I’m not sure that I knew that it existed. I obviously had a crush on her for a while, but was too chicken to anything about it. I still feel embarrassed about running her over that day, but I am grateful that it happened. We have been very busy doing things together. I am grateful to have a running partner. She sets a pretty good pace.
“Brian, have you thought about the question I asked you the other day?”
“I have, but I don’t understand what you mean by it.”
“Think about it, do you like my daughter?”