Writing Assignment for my class

This summer the family went camping. The gloves I was using to move my dutch oven got burned pretty bad. Thankfully, my hands were not in them. I brought them in for a writing prompt for my students. Here is one of my responses to the prompt:

I had met the family living in the house once. Driving to and from work every day I saw that house being built. As I watched the process I became curious about this house. When coming home late from work I would sometimes stop and snoop around.
This home was of modest size. It looked like it might hold a family of six or seven. When snooping around I often thought that I’d like to build a house very similar to this one. I even wondered if the family would let me use their floor plan when it came time to build a house of my own.
After the family moved in and seemed settled I stopped and asked if I could take a tour of their house. I had explained that I often would snoop around the house on my way home from work and felt that I should ask for their forgiveness for doing so. Because of my curiosity I wanted to see the finish product. Mr. and Mrs. Jensen were very gracious with my desire to tour the house and chuckled when I asked them to forgive me for looking through their house as it was being built.
On this particular day I had left work early. When I was getting close to Jensen’s house I saw smoke. When I turned the corner flames were barely licking their way out of one of the bedroom windows. It seemed as if none of the neighbors had noticed the smoke or flames coming from the house. I called 911, but knowing that the fire department was miles away I entered the house and followed the screams and cries I heard.
The fire was in the baby’s bedroom. I leaped through the flames in the hallway and grabbed the baby from her crib. Tucking her body into mine I again jumped through the flames and ran outside to a neighbor that had just arrived at the house.
The cries I had heard earlier were coming from downstairs. I raced down the stairs and saw through a wall of flames Mrs. Jensen at the door of what I remembered to be the laundry room. She was crouched into a ball on the floor crying and screaming. The look on her face lacked hope of getting out of this experience alive. I skirted the flames the best I could. I crawled to where Mrs. Jensen was sitting. I the flames were getting hot and suffocating. The noise was deafening. I knew that I had to coax her into action. Just before we were to move a beam from overhead fell. I caught with the back of my hands. Fortunately, I had grabbed my gloves from the truck on my way into the house.
The time it took to move the beam was only seconds, but seemed to take eternity. The path I found to Mrs. Jensen was still clear. I crawled behind her coaxing her along the way. By the time we reached the street the fire department as well as the paramedics had arrived.
The baby was fine and was playing with the mother from the house next door. Mrs. Jensen received burns on her back. The back of my hands were burned from where the beam had fallen on us. Thankfully the gloves took brunt of the burns.
The gloves have lost their use, but will remain in my truck to remind me that…